


That's the Way Life is

by racesgirl2000



Category: The Last Detective (TV series)
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-19
Updated: 2017-02-03
Packaged: 2018-08-31 21:48:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 4,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8594959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/racesgirl2000/pseuds/racesgirl2000
Summary: Set 9 years after the final episode of the Last Detective, former DC Dangerous Davies's friend Mod visits London but ends up being kidnapped





	1. Chapter 1

It was a sunny day in London. As he was dressed in a black suit, white shirt, black tie, black belt and black shoes, well respected private detective Dangerous Davies had been washing his face with some water from the sinks in the men's restroom at Willesden Junction station.

Suddenly, one of his two assistants Paul Crocetti, who was wearing a white suit, a light blue shirt, a white tie, a white fedora with a black hatband, a white belt and white shoes, Dangerous's second wife Dorothy (nee Fulljames), who was wearing a light blue two piece skirt suit, a flower patterned blouse and pink high heeled shoes and his other assistant Harry O' Hara, who was wearing a navy blue blazer, a light blue shirt, a yellow and dark blue striped tie, a black belt and black shoes, noticed Dangerous was missing so Paul and Harry went to the men's restroom. Noticing that Dangerous was wet, Paul and Harry were a bit concerned that their boss had changed outfits that day and was prepared to wear the one he had on as soon as his old friend Modesty 'Mod' Lewis (who was now a successful author for teenagers, showed up in London.

"Dangerous, you bloody fool, I can't believe you washed your face and neck in the men's toilet sink," Paul said as Dangerous suddenly looked at his friend and giggled a bit. "If your mate finds put that you got wet again, he'll get a bit worried."

"Why the bloody hell are we dressed up for?" Harry asked. "Is it the antiques fair again, Paul?"

"That's not for a couple of weeks, Harry," Dangerous stated for Paul as they all left the men's restroom and sat near Dorothy. "My old friend Mod Lewis's visiting and I bloody well hope that he and I don't have the same habits."

"I hope you're right, dear." Dorothy agreed. Ten seconds later, a London Overground train pulled up on platform 1 and a bunch of people came off including an Irishman younger than Dangerous but older than Paul and Harry wearing a grey suit, a white shirt, a red tie, a black belt and black ankle boots.

"Dangerous, Mrs D, over here." the Irishman called as he ran towards Dangerous and Dorothy.

"Mr Lewis, glad to see you." said Dorothy hugging her second husband's best friend as Dangerous winked at him.

"When I first got back from London, my parents greeted me this way when I got back to Coventry." said Paul as he waved to Mod.

"Hey there, Paul," Mod said waving back at Paul. "Crocetti's an Italian name, right, Dangerous?"

"Yep." said Dangerous smiling.

"For your sake, you better not've done anything sunny with Big D here, Mod." Harry joked laughing.

"No, Harry, I haven't had the chance!" Mod said as he saw Harry standing face to face with him.

"That's okay." said Harry as they all walked to Harry's car, got in and drove off.


	2. Chapter 2

It was starting to rain during the night but Mod couldn't sleep, something was bugging him and he didn't like it. He looked over at the photograph of him and Dangerous back in 2005 and got slowly out of bed. He had got to the door, opened Dangerous and Dorothy's bedroom door and saw that they were both still sleeping.

I haven't seen Dangerous sleeping with anyone since I last visited. Mod thought as he went into the kitchen to get a glass of water and met Dangerous and Dorothy's poodle Bubbles hurrying in, bent down and stroked her.

"Hello, doggy." said Mod cooly as he scratched the dog behind the ears. Unfortunately for both Mod and Bubbles, Dangerous arrived and saw his former flat mate getting along with his dog.

"What's happening here then?" asked Dangerous.

"I was gonna get a glass of water but the dog jumped me, Dangerous!" replied Mod as he looked up at his friend.

Well, that's that sorted, thought Dangerous as Mod left the kitchen. I might as well stay with him until tomorrow.

"That's not the old dog, Mod," yelled Dangerous as he ran after Mod as if they were playing hide and seek. "That's mine and Dorothy's poodle Bubbles."

In a nearby van, a redhaired woman sat inside listening to the following conversation between Dangerous and Mod. As she sat at the consols dressed in a dark green polo neck jumper, dark blue trousers, a brown coat and black pumps, the woman suddenly smirked to herself.

"Hello, doggy." said Mod cooly as he scratched the dog behind the ears. Unfortunately for both Mod and Bubbles, Dangerous arrived and saw his former flat mate getting along with his dog.

"What's happening here then?" asked Dangerous.

"I was gonna get a glass of water but the dog jumped me, Dangerous!" replied Mod as he looked up at his friend.

Well, that's that sorted, thought Dangerous as Mod left the kitchen. I might as well stay with him until tomorrow.

"That's not the old dog, Mod," yelled Dangerous as he ran after Mod as if they were playing hide and seek. "That's mine and Dorothy's poodle Bubbles."

"So the last detective's best friend is back on the scene, is he?" asked the woman to herself in a Scottish accent. "We'll see about that. Yeah, you can run, Dangerous but you can't hide."


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning, Dangerous woke Mod up and brought him into the living room. Paul, Dorothy and Harry, who were fully dressed like Dangerous himself was, were both sitting on the couch.

"Okay, let's get this over and done with so we can find those young hellcats known as the Dork Trio before that dipstick Pimlott and his team do, okay?" Paul stated as Mod grinned cooly at him.

"Good idea. Paul, you're a genius." said Harry as Paul sat beside him.

A whole hour the plan, Dangerous, Paul, Harry and Mod got into Paul's top of the line Mercedes Benz and headed straight to the Brent Cross shopping centre in Wimbledon. There were a group of teenagers outside talking, running, walking and shopping when suddenly, both Paul and Harry saw the Trio.

"What are we gonna do?" Harry asked as he looked at the three young men.

"I don't know. Mod, they've got weapons, look out!" Paul yelled but it was too late. Mod ran to the men's room and accidentally knocked the head of security out. While in the men's room, Mod noticed that his blue jeans, black leather lace-up ankle boots, red and green checked shirt and Nirvana T-shirt were still tidy as well as the black jumper around his waist but as soon as he looked around, two pairs of hands grabbed a hold of him and a baseball bat was slammed against his head and everything went dark.

Dangerous ran to the men's room and gasped in horror as she saw his friend's jumper on the floor and yelled "Mod, what happened? Where are you?"

Paul and Harry followed him as Harry asked "What happened to Mod?"

"I'm no DCI Gene Hunt but I think he's been kidnapped by the Trio." replied Paul as Harry called DCI Pimlott, Dangerous's old nemesis.

"Wait wait," said Dangerous. "You're telling me my own friend's been kidnapped?"

"I'm afraid so, boss." said Paul as Dangerous felt angry at this.

"DCI Pimlott, it's Paul Crocetti from the Dangerous Davies Detective Agency," said Harry. "We're at the Brent Cross centre in Brent Cross... Dangerous's mad 'cause his mate was kidnapped... Yeah, I know we're a detective agency and your lot are a kidnap unit but this is serious. You and DI Barrett meet us at the Bali-Hai Guest House at 3:30pm... Thanks, boss man. Bye."


	4. Chapter 4

Mod woke up in a large room which was about the same size as his old bedroom. He was tied to a chair with his arms tied behind his back and his legs tied together but he was lucky it wasn't small as he was claustrophobic and started to look around for an exit but found nothing of the like. He heard footsteps coming down the hall, shut his large blue eyes and pretended that he was bored. A woman with red hair and blue eyes appeared before him as he was yawning and struggling against his bonds.

"Are you gonna do something or what, I'm getting bored here!" Mod yawned.

"You're Mod, right? Katie McNamara, I've heard that private dick you call a friend DC Davies tell me so much about you. I've got big plans for you but you'll have to wait, I can't deal with you but I know what you can do in the meantime." Katie said inspecting her fingernails casually.

"And that would bloody well be?" Mod asked completely bored.

"You'll see." Katie said as the door opened again and the Trio entered the room carrying guns but this time, they looked more bad ass and dressed a bit like regulars in the video for Michael Jackson's Smooth Criminal.

"What's the meaning of the Irish dickhead doing here?" John Westlake, the tallest of the three, asked.

"Mr Lewis's bored and I need to entertain him for a while, Johnny. You, Andy and Potsie keep him busy for a while." Katie ordered.

"This should be fun." Mod said as Andrew Flanagan, the middle of the three, said.

"Any last words?" asked Warren Martingale, the smallest of the three, as he grabbed a piece of cloth from his left jacket pocket.

"Yeah, say hi to Al Capone for me!" Mod snarled through his clenched teeth and arched his head to avoid being gagged by Warren.

"You utter weirdo, avoiding being gagged while backsassing us means you're a bitch!" Andrew laughed.

"No, it means that you three are so stupid that you can't get past me talking back," Mod laughed harder. "And even more stupid if you even bother gagging me!"

"Why, you little bugger, I'll kill you!" John shouted.

"I'll like to see you try," Mod challenged. "And the second I'm untied, you three idiots'll be lying on the floor out cold."

"Oh and if we don't?" Warren asked.

"Then you're a bunch of weirdos, even Dangerous can arrest you three better than DCI Pimlott and DI Barrett put together!" Mod mocked.

"What? We're not a bunch of weirdos." Andrew shouted.

"Then prove it!" Mod yelled back.

By this time, the Trio were pissed off. Andew wiggled his right index finger in front of Mod but the latter had bitten it causing him to groan in pain.

"Why you little..." Jonathan snarled.

"Let's finish then 'cause it's my turn now," said Warren as he pinched Mod's cheek but the latter headbutted him causing him to groan slightly. "That was too easy."

"That's it, having these three being attacked by my ex boyfriend's friend is where I draw the line." Katie said as she entered the room and ordered Andrew and Warren to grab Mod's head and John to tie that piece of cloth he had in his hands over Mod's mouth.

"What are these three weirdos doing?" Mod demanded.

"If you must know, Andrew and Warren are holding your head while John's gagging you." Katie replied.

"WHAT?" Mod yelled.

Both Andrew and Warren suddenly grabbed Mod's head as Katie had ordered while John, who noticed that Mod's mouth was open, had put the piece of cloth inside it and tied it across his mouth gagging him.

"What else should we do with him, ma'am?" Warren asked.

"Leave him here, guard him and don't disturb me while I make a ransom call to the Last Detective himself." Katie replied.

"Sure thing, ma'am." Andrew said as Katie went downstairs to the living room and phoned Dangerous only hoping that he would know Katie had Mod captive.


	5. Chapter 5

Mod woke up in the same room he was in to find himself now bound and gagged to the chair he was tied to and as a matter of fact, the Trio were still guarding him. He remembered that the three of them were also armed with guns.

Dangerous, I don't know if you can hear this but I've been kidnapped by some bitch I just met. Look out, Mod thought as he struggled against his bonds and also noticed that he also couldn't get up and his left eye was really sore. Why would this bitch who's got a grudge against my dad put me somewhere where I'd be comfortable unless ...yeah, she thinks a mate of hers died in my dad's custody but I keep forgetting something. Oh God, HELP, I've been tied to chair by them London bitches and gagged by them too.

"Hey, John, I think you've got allergies about Bee Orchid flowers and my mum's garden's full of 'em." Andrew told John.

"That's a problem but the boss said this Irish arsehead needs to be in top form if this plan's gonna be successful." Warren said.

Meanwhile at the Bali-Hai Guest House, DCI Pimlott and DI Darren Barrett had arrived as soon as they had heard that Mod had been kidnapped by Katie McNamara somewhat causing Dorothy to faint and Dangerous to still be angry.

"I feel so guilty for what the bloody hell happened, boss." Harry said as he saw Paul trying to get Dangerous to cheer up a bit. Both Pimlott and Barrett had seen what was going on and decided to talk among themselves. Paul and Harry both knew that all both Dangerous and Dorothy wanted right now was for Katie to let Mod go unharmed.

"Okay, Dangerous, how about we meet at this Scottish bitch's place at 7:30pm this evening and I hope your friend's okay." Barrett replied.

"Just what I thought." said Dangerous as he finally calmed down.

"What is it, Dangerous?" Pimlott asked.

"My ex girlfriend Katie McNamara's got my friend Mod Lewis, Pimlott. I understand it now." Dangerous said as he rushed upstairs to get changed with Paul following him.

In his and Dorothy's bedroom, Dangerous grabbed a tuxedo suit went behind the screen and said "Don't worry, Mod. I'll get you back and when you see me, you'll probably say 'Dangerous' and I'll probably be 'Let's get you out of here' and if she sees me, Katie will probably say 'I'm sorry I kidnapped your friend, Mr..' and I'll tell her 'The name's Davies, Dangerous Davies'." Dangerous said the last bit as he came out from behind the screen looking like James Bond from Dr No complete with a photo of Mod from 2003 in the breast pocket.

"So we meet again, Mr Bond." said Paul in his fake Goldfinger voice.

"PAUL," yelled Dangerous. "You scared me."

"Who are you supposed to be, James Bond?" asked Paul. "Now come on, let's go downstairs."

"Now I really oughta tell Mod I'm sorry for getting him kidnapped when I see him or if." said Harry frowning as he saw Paul and Dangerous coming downstairs.

"When you see him, Harry, when." Paul corrected his friend.

"Oh." Harry replied.


	6. Chapter 6

As soon as Pimlott, Barrett, Dangerous, Paul and Harry arrived outside on of the warehouses near Sunbeam Road, Dangerous was feeling both worried and scared about what Katie was going to do to Mod if he didn't get him back and knew that his own friend was in trouble.

"Hi, Guys, are we so glad to meet you guys or what?" Barrett asked as he saw Dangerous and Paul getting out of Paul's Mercedes Benz Emma and Harry getting off his Harley Davidson motorbike Melissa.

"We sure are, guv." Harry answered back.

"Darren, it's obvious Dangerous's got something on his mind but what?" asked Pimlott.

"Some bitch called Katie McNamara who Dangerous went with decades ago got his mate, Guv'nor!" Barrett replied as he and Pimlott managed to sneak into the house by the back door as the guys got in through the front door.

"Harry, we're going to give those morons Andrew and Warren a serious ass kicking as soon as we find them." Paul told Harry.

"While you two are doing that, I'll find Mod!" said Dangerous before Paul could say anything else as he dashed upstairs.

"Good luck, boss, you're gonna need it." Harry yelled to Dangerous.

"That's something I've never heard you tell him, Harry." Paul said proudly.

"Okay, now it's ass kicking time." Andrew's voice butted in from behind Paul and Harry as they both turned around to find Andrew and Warren by the door.

"Okay, keep your underpants on." Warren told Andrew as the latter decided to do some one-on-one boxing against Paul while the former tried his hand at one-to-one karate against Harry.

"Mod, where are you?" Dangerous called as he looked around every door on the top floor for Mod until he heard a muffled voice that sounded like his friend's own voice.

"Dangerous, I'm in here!" Mod's muffled voice replied.

"Oh my God, Mod, did Katie do this to you, kid?" Dangerous asked as he walked towards his bound and gagged friend and removed the gag from his mouth.

As soon as Dangerous was about to untie Mod from the chair he was tied to, the door had opened again and John sneezed causing Dangerous to turn around, stand up and glare back at John and Katie who was smirking at him.

"Bravo, Dangerous, bravo." Katie said as both John and Dangerous walked towards each other and stood face to face.

"What do you want, Katie?" demanded Dangerous angrily.

"I'm planning on revenge for you sending me to prison in 1998," Katie replied. "Another thing, who are you supposed to be, James Bond?"

"Dangerous, why didn't you mention that to me?" asked Mod wondering of his own friend would be hunted down by a bitch like Katie.

"Come on, dude, we both know that your mate was responsible!" laughed John.

"If you want my friend or my life, you're going to have to face it like a man!" Dangerous said preparing to give John what for.

"Oh my God, I'm really really scared." said John sarcastically.

"John, now is not the time." Dangerous snarled as he slapped John full on in the face.

"Is that all you've got, Dangerous?" Katie asked grinning from ear to ear.

"No, I'm only just getting started." Dangerous said.

"Dangerous, look out." Mod yelled to his struggling friend.

"I know what I'm doing, Mod, don't worry." Dangerous told his bound friend as he and John were really attacking each other.

Both Dangerous and John were slapping, kicking and hitting each other for the next half hour until John, who had had enough of being slapped around by the man formerly known as the Last Detective, had grabbed him and threw him against the wall knocking him out.

"Take that, dude!" John laughed. He didn't move as Dangerous slumped to the floor unconscious. Mod had got a bad feeling all of a sudden and then, it hit him.

"Oh my God, Dangerous!" Mod shouted as he saw his unconscious friend on the floor and looked rather shocked at the sight while John picked him up and dragged him where his bound feet where.

"Mr Lewis, Dangerous will wake up soon." Katie said as both she and John placed Dangerous on his friend's lap tying both of them face to face and within a matter of seconds, Andrew and Warren dragged the unconscious Paul and Harry into the room.


	7. Chapter 7

This was an unfortunate event, Dangerous came to to find himself tied face to face with Mod and both Paul and Harry unconscious on the floor and lying on their backs. He tried to grab his aching head but felt a rope tighten around his arms and realized that he was tied facing his own ex flatmate.

"Dangerous, are you okay?" Mod asked as he saw his friend beside him.

"I may have gotten attacked by John Westlake, Mod but I'm alright!" Dangerous replied back.

"I hope so too, Dangerous," said the voice of Katie McNamara as she stood at the door with the Trio. "I'm also glad to see you defeated by yours truly."

"Forget it, Katie." snarled Dangerous as Katie smirking at him evilly.

"Come on, you're smarter than I thought!" Katie said smiling from ear to ear at Dangerous as she saw that Paul was starting to show signs of waking up.

"You're telling me, you evil Scottish bitch," Paul said as he opened his eyes and glared at Katie. "Now let all of us go now."

"Let me think, no." Katie said turning around to face Paul.

"You can't bloody well keep us here forever." Paul snarled as Katie gave him a look that said 'Don't make me want to slap you'.

"Oh yes, I can." Katie snarled back.

"The second Harry wakes up and Dangerous and Mod are untied, you're under arrest." Paul said in his fake Columbo voice as he glared back at Katie just as soon as Harry was showing signs of waking up.

"I'd hate to see you stop me at all costs." Katie told him evilly.

"What the bloody hell's going on?" asked Harry as he opened his eyes to find himself lying next to Paul on the floor as Katie looked down at them.

"I'm glad you woke up and by the way you always act, you're going to kill yourself one day!" Katie sighed as she saw that Harry was awake.

"Oi, do me a favour and shut your sodding face." Harry snapped turning to face Katie.

"I knew something like this would happen." Dangerous said softly as he heard Harry starting an argument with Katie.

"Don't look now but here come the Trio." said Harry as the Trio entered the room.

"I can't believe we're on guard duty and I also can't believe we have to untie those guys on the floor to finish what we started." Andrew said as he and Warren saw Paul and Harry getting to their feet.

"Okay, Andrew, you take the Italian dude and I'll take the redhead." suggested Warren and as soon as he noticed himself and Paul standing up, Harry noticed Pilmott and Barrett behind the Trio.

"Okay, Andy, in about half an hour or whenever, you and Potsie there are gonna be on that floor face down." Paul exclaimed as he decided to do some more one-on-one boxing against him while Harry tried his hand at more one-to-one karate against Warren.

"Lucky for someone like you and your mate, me and my mate know all your moves." Harry told Warren as he did some kick ass karate moves on Warren while Paul boxed Andrew until both were was down on the floor. Harry looked shocked as he saw Pimlott and Barrett untying Dangerous and Mod.

"Alright, Johnny, now let's battle gymnast style and I'm not happy!" Dangerous said as he started to give John a serious beating as he got ready to battle.


	8. Chapter 8

Pimlott and Barrett were both about to jump on Katie but Mod stepped forward and Katie was not happy at all.

"Hey, what the bloody hell are you doing?" Pimlott demanded.

"I wanna kick this bitch's arse and I don't want any distractions or any help." Mod replied.

"You really as dumb as you look 'cause I was thinking the same thing." Katie laughed as Andrew and Warren held her back.

"Excuse me, folks, you might wanna put on some oxygen masks." Barrett joked.

"Why, I mean it's not going to be hard to breathe, DI Barrett." Paul said.

"Yet." Harry added.

"Enough chit chat, it's ass kicking time." Andrew shouted impatiently.

"Okay, let's go!" Warren shouted as he gave Mod a flying karate kick causing him to fall to the ground when he felt that kick and stood up again.

"You've gotta be kidding me, Man," Mod told Warren. "A flying karate kick is only done by karate pros and Harry here!"

"Oh no, don't get that total dumbass involved." growled Warren but Mod knew Warren was talking about Harry and kicked him between the legs.

"That's nothing more than a distraction!" Andrew said as Warren fell to the floor clutching his groin.

"Okay, let's go!" Mod as he punched John in the face and the latter fell to the ground, the air came right out his lungs as he was kicked.

"Nice attack but mine's better." said Warren as one of the karate moves he saw Harry doing hit Mod in the gut, he flew for 100 meters before landing on his back on the ground.

"Ow, that hurt but this is gonna hurt more." Mod said doing some of punching Andrew in the face but the latter was flung against the wall because the room they were all in was no were near 100 miles long.

"Okay, needle dick, let's rock!" Andrew shouted and the air became really thin, everyone put on oxygen masks but poor Mod didn't have one and couldn't breathe. He whispered something and the air around him became normal but he smiled.

"Don't ever bugger with me or you'll get your arse kicked." Mod said proudly.

"Mod, look out!" Dangerous yelled but it was too late, Warren did a flying double karate kick and hit Mod. He fell back and landed on his right side hitting his head on the floor.

"Mod, are you okay?" Paul asked.

"Get them." Mod said weakly and at that very moment, both Paul and Harry kicked the Trio's butts successfully.

"Let's get him outta here." Barrett said as Dangerous lifted Mod in his arms and got him into Paul's Mercedes Benz.

"He's going to be okay, right, Dangerous?" Pimlott asked.

"Of course, we're talking about my best friend." Dangerous replied.


	9. Chapter 9

Mod woke up as soon as Paul's Mercedes Benz pulled up to the Bali-Hai Guest House so all four men got inside and as Paul and Harry managed to wash any substances the Trio left in Mod's hair out of it, Dangerous walked over to the couch where Dorothy was still sleeping.

"Darling," Dangerous whispered as he sat beside her. "Dorrie, wake up."

Noticing that Dorothy still hadn't stirred yet, Dangerous gently touched her cheek and crooned softly. Suddenly, Dangerous bent down and kissed her causing her to wake up.

"Sorry but I can't find my husband or his friend, Mr.." Dorothy said as she looked up at Dangerous.

"The name's Davies," Dangerous said. "Dangerous Davies."

"Dangerous, I'm only joking," Dorothy said as she smiled, sat up and hugged Dangerous. "Is Mr Lewis home?"

"Yes, he is." said Dangerous as he stood up.

"My God, man," said Dorothy looking at what her husband was wearing. "Pardon my French but who are you supposed to be, James Bond?"

"What do you mean, Dorothy?" asked Dangerous as he looked down at himself. "Oh my God, I do look like him since that was what both Paul and my bitch of an ex girlfriend Katie McNamara said."

Looking at Dangerous very strangely, Dorothy asked "Dangerous, you will get changed, won't you?"

"Yes, mother!" Dangerous joked as Dorothy laughed hugging him playfully and at that very moment, Paul and Harry arrived with Mod.

"Are you feeling okay, Mrs F?" Mod asked his best friend's wife.

"I guess I am, Mr Lewis!" Dorothy said smiling back at her former lodger.

"You're welcome." Harry replied as he and Paul smiled at each other. "Paul, did you manage to track your brother down yet?"

"Not yet but it might a be Jeremy Kyle moment when we meet again!" Paul replied as he and Harry got up to leave.

"So, what do you want to do, Mr Lewis?" Dorothy asked stroking Mod's hair as Paul and Harry left.

"Well, I might as well go take Bubbles for a walk later, Mrs F." Mod replied cooly.

"Alright, Mod, I'm just glad you're still alive." Dangerous said as both men dashed upstairs so Dangerous could get changed but Mod would still have that bad feeling but knew he might ignore a bitch like Katie McNamara in future.


End file.
